I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
