i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
