i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
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