What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize