Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
