ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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