I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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