i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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