i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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