How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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