I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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