JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
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All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
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I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize