Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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