dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
