one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You dont lie about slip and slides
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
