nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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