Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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