Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
