fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
