i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
