Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Randomize
