I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
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its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
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I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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