I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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