Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
oh god was she eating orange peels again
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
