Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
