why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize