Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
