i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
