Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
