You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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