I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
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She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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