Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
