Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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