she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he wants to bone in the snuggie
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
