I love black thongs
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
