chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
