I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
