so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
