She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
