I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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