I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize