Sry I called you an 8
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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