Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
