toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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