i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
