Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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