i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
