Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
