let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
