KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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