I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
