I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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