it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
