i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
