hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
