We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
