I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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