I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Bring me that man meat
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
