I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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