Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
