I think scott just propositioned me for sex
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
