I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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