I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
