there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
