I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
