so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize