He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
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He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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